
(Stephen Colbert. Photographed June 3, 2006 at Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois by Kelly Martin.)
With apologies to Chris Matthews, Stephen Colbert is heading to the enemy camp: He’s going to Canada.
Colbert, whose feud with the Great White North is based on what he considers an international speedskating scandal, received an invitation to the 2010 Winter Olympics from the city that will be hosting speedskating at The Games.
Colbert’s beef with Canada stems from what he claims was an effort to limit the U.S. speedskating team’s practice time in the Vancouver area. Colbert’s show, “The Colbert Report,” became the U.S. speedskating team’s official sponsor after its original sponsor fell through. He soon put Canada in his sights, calling Canadians “syrup suckers” and “ice-holes.” He even started a letter-writing campaign against the country.
Last week, we reported that Colbert has a Canadian background, according to Ancestry.ca, and now he might be heading there.
The City of Richmond, B.C., has invited Colbert to serve as an ombudsman, overseeing the treatment of the American team while it’s in Canada.
“I have no idea what an ombudsman is, but as long as it requires no effort from me, I proudly accept,” Colbert said on his show Thursday night (watch it below).
Colbert believes that “nothing can stop U.S. speedskaters now, except maybe Canadians.”
He quoted a Wall Street Journal report that said Canada has “an aggressive new attitude” for these Olympic Games.
“According to one of the Canadian coaches, Canada is finally more concerned with winning than being nice, hence their new Olympic slogan, ‘Own the Podium,’” Colbert said. “In contrast to their previous slogan, ‘Pardon, would it trouble you if we won a medal or two? It would? OK, never mind.’”
Colbert said his efforts and those of his fans were already paying off because he received an official letter from the International Skating Union, saying the speedskating rink will be open earlier, which would allow the Americans to practice.
“I am kind of surprised the Canadians responded this quickly,” he said. “Their postal beaver normally takes months to cross Manitoba.”